The Voice of Experience

 

Army of the Insane

 

Of all my duties here at Delta-Man probably my least favorite is trolling the liberal websites and reading their crap.  I do this for two reasons:  first of all so you don't have to and second, to find out what these idiots are saying and attempt to respond to their arguments in a logical manner.  Now I realize that these arguments will never reach these deluded liberals since logic is a concept that's as foreign to them as responsibility.  Instead I attempt to respond to their arguments because that's how normal people engage in a meaningful debate, which after all is what King Hussein Obama the First says we're supposed to be doing.

 

I've found that the site http://www.huffingtonpost.com is fairly representative of the far left.  It features news and opinion, in a manner similar to the conservative site  http://www.drudgereport.com/ .  Over the last week I've noticed that while the drudgereport was filled with stories about the filmmakers disguised as a hooker and pimp who secretly taped ACORN workers advising them to break the law, the huffingtonpost was strangely silent.  The earliest headline I could find on the drudgereport was on September 10^th entitled "ACORN fires 2 after hidden-camera footage aired."  http://www.drudgereportarchives.com/dsp/links_recap5.htm  Over the past five days, this story has exploded.  We've learned that these filmmakers caught ACORN employees in Washington, D.C., New York City, and Baltimore giving essentially the same advice.  And in a shocking twist, the Maryland State's Attorney is considering charging the two filmmakers with illegally taping the ACORN employees.  http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2009/09/12/maryland-may-prosecute-acorn-sting-video-makers  As of this writing, the first, and only article on the huffingtonpost is an AP article reporting the New York City incident from September 14^th http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/14/acorn-employees-caught-on_n_286580.html  And as blogger electricflag noted in the comments to the story, it wasn't exactly on the front page:

Boy, they really buried this NATIONAL new story. I had to go through 2 secret rooms and a spiral staircase to find this one.

Ordinarily, liberal sites such as huffingtonpost can't wait to shoot their mouths off on the latest news.  But in this case they were strangely silent. .  http://www.ihatethemedia.com/fox-covers-acorn-hooker-scandal  In this case they were following the playbook of the mainstream media when a potentially embarrassing story like this one surfaces.  First they ignore the story and hope it goes away.  If the story has legs, they report the basic facts but offer no opinions.  Then, and only then, once they've had time to decide on the best mode of attack, they unleash a blizzard of opinions, analysis, and commentaries to explain away the embarrassing incident and/or charge evil Republicans with manufacturing the whole story because they are so mean.

 

Since the huffingtonpost readers didn't have a chance to comment on this ACORN story until yesterday, I thought it might be interesting to see what they had to say.  After all they'd been waiting for four days, watching Fox News and the drudgereport hammer their ideological brothers at ACORN. Liberals are the master of making up excuses so I thought it would funny to read some of their more creative efforts.  I was not disappointed.

 

Huffingtonpost blogger Eris23 represents the views of many, claiming ACORN is being tarred by the actions of a few rogue employees:

On the other, you have a demonization piece where, at best, unethical behavior by a small handful of employees is being manipulated to try and show an entire organization is corrupt. It's foolish all around.

Blogger RichPort puts his own clever spin on this argument by noting that only employees at three locations were busted:

You're right, and it's precisely this scientific sampling of ACORN's anti-American actions that make me hurl stones at every Catholic priest I see, you know, because they're obviously all molesters...

Other bloggers used the classic rationalization of pointing out that their opponents have also engaged in similar slimy behavior.  In other words, who are you to criticize us?  Blogger BK 1717 reminds us of recent Republican villains:

Randy "Duke" Cunningham
Bob Ney
Rick Renzi
Ted Stevens
Tom Delay
Mark Foley
Larry Craig
David Vitter

Do those names ring any bells?

 

Responding to a conservative comment that former President Bush would have also been attacked if a group he had close ties to was engaged in such behavior, blogger Blue Floyd takes it up a notch:

 

he was......and there was an outcry.......you don't have to imagine.

in fact, his associations resulted in actual deaths of people.

 

Another variation of this argument was offered by blogger Granted BKNY.  His claim was that if only the liberals, who control the film industry and the news media, and are universally regarded as smarter than conservatives, had come up with this idea, they would uncover all sorts of Republican sins.

 

I would love an undercover video between Rush or Glenn and their accountants. I bet they are getting far better ideas on how to hide assets.

 

To be fair, some liberal bloggers condemned the actions of the ACORN employees which is what you would expect any decent person to do.  If you take the time to watch the videotapes or read the transcripts at http://biggovernment.com/ you'll be shocked at the brazen misconduct.  The filmmakers posed as an 18 year old hooker and her new pimp.  They represent that they have been trying to get a mortgage for a house to use as a den of iniquity.  To further complicate matters, the new pimp does not want to be directly involved in the mortgage because he has future political aspirations and the hooker wants to bring in underage girls from Central America to work for her at the house.

 

None of this bothers the ACORN employees.  They navigate all these landmines, obvious to the admitted intention to commit serious criminal activity at this house, and suggest fraudulent ways of obtaining a mortgage.  One of the New York employees even gave advice on how to hide money in the backyard so nobody could find it.  (In case you're interested, don't bury the money under the dog house as they do in the movies.  ACORN's advice is to mark the spot with a plant.  See pages 23-24 of the transcript).  As this story has developed my one thought has been, "Where does ACORN find these people?"  After reading the comments on huffingtonpost, I think I know where.

 

Budding lawyer chrisso114, who obviously didn't read the full transcripts, claims that the ACORN employees didn't do anything wrong because it's not a crime to say you're a hooker.

so, I kep reading about "underage" hookers but only the lead scammer mentions it during the intro and it is not in the clip--it is not apparent these employees know anything other than this one scammer woman claims to be a prostitute and supposedly will have other prostitutes working in the house

where does the "underage" part come in?

seems they are only saying you really cannot fo into a bank and claim prostitution as a profession and get a loan (being factual)

and they question (not knowing) whether prostitution is legal--regardless, it seems they are trying to help the scammer hooker pretendee knowing that to turn her in would not make a difference as there is no crime in claiming to be a prostitute

you need to solicit someone

 

Brilliant huh?  I hope King Hussein Obama the First doesn't find about this guy.  He'll be his next Supreme Court appointment.

 

Blogger Eris23 jumps back in to the comments with the claim that the actions of the ACORN employees weren't illegal, albeit without the subtle legal analysis given above.

 

Newsflash. It's not illegal to get a pimp or a prostitute housing. It is only a crime to be involved in the furtherance of their criminal enterprise.

 

Blogger Eris23 is also known as the "slow1". 

 

Blogger Yardley, probably a 9-11 truther, claims it's all, big shock here, a conspiracy.

This is very bad. First, I believe the Acorn workers were bought off prior to the making of the video. The payment had to be enough so they wouldn't have to worry about being fired. The way they played along with this obvious, sick halloween prank was just too well rehearsed to play to an intelligent viewer. I mean, really, you are an adult employed by a social service ageny, and two bozos dressed in lime green halloween costumes start asking you to find a child exploitation sex ring and you calmly play along with it? Bullshit. Fortunately, if felony charges do come of this, the "workers" may confess to having been paid and Faux news may find itself paying for this idiotic stunt big time.

 

Blogger RichPort jumps back in with a claim being made by ACORN, that the tapes have been doctored.

 

These tapes are as edited as P@lin's college transcript(s).

 

Nice touch with the Palin insult.  Maybe he'll get an award for this comment like Tina Fey.

 

Blogger PostModernPatriot argues, in a manner reminiscent of our own The Righteous Lib, that nobody really cares about these hookers except for maybe…the ACORN employees!

Do a Google search for "Sarah Kruzan" and then come back & tell me how much our govt & our society REALLY cares about victims of so-called human trafficking. Spare me the faux outrage over this ACORN employee trying to help a supposed prostitute instead of calling the police. None of your ilk truly cares about help for the "prostitute" - except maybe these ACORN ladies at the end of the video (a little bit). This is really about trying to disenfrachise the voters who ACORN is so good at registering & encouraging to vote.

This video isn't even about "child" sex trafficking...they just tried to sneak in a reference to "young" at the end so they could smear to the nth degree.

 

Sarah Kruzan was a underage prostitute and victim of child abuse who was given a life sentence for killing her abusive pimp when she was 16 years old.  Efforts to free Kruzan, now 28, are yet another liberal cause that a sensitive, caring human being like PostModernPatriot would take up.

 

Blogger assy also feels the hooker's pain.

If I were advising poor people with limited life options, I'd advise them to lie too. While it may not be admirable, I would've done the same thing the ACORN counselor did.

 

Blogger Brooklynbetty, who I'm sure looks nothing like the attractive picture accompanying her post, responds to assy and goes further.

I agree. Notably, no one has mentioned the part of this video where the counselor encourages the sex worker to start thinking for herself and to stop listening to her "pimp."

 

Classic liberal.  Notice the sly substitution of the work "sex worker" for the hooker.  She almost had all the letters typed in for the word "whore".  Why give yourself carpal tunnel symptom?

 

So if you're wondering where ACORN finds these idiots who shamelessly commit fraud and engage in criminal conspiracy, now you know.  They're people like chrisso114 and Brooklynbetty.  Idiots like the PostModernPatriot and Yardley,  Fools like Eris23, RichPort, and assy, who admitted that she would do exactly the same thing the ACORN employees did.  People who are so ideologically driven, so mentally challenged that they could justify anything.  These bloggers are but the vanguard of an army of the insane, people who would just be harmless clowns if it wasn't for groups like ACORN that give them the power to act on their stupid beliefs.  When His Majesty talks about his civilian army of brown shirts, these people will be filling the ranks.

 

And you might be wondering what our King has to say about all of this trouble at ACORN?  Remember, prior to His reign, His Majesty represented ACORN in the courts and has many friends actively involved in its operations today.  The King has issued decrees for ACORN to work on a variety of government projects, including the upcoming census of his peasants.  Surely His Majesty must have some thoughts that he wishes to read off his Tele-Prompt-Ter. 

 

As of this writing, His Majesty has been silent, letting his, soon to be former, friends to twist in the wind.  But I don't what to jump to any hasty conclusions.  He might not even be aware of the whole controversy.  Fired ABC news anchor Charles Gibson wasn't aware of this mess until today.  http://newsbusters.org/blogs/tom-blumer/2009/09/15/charles-gibson-totally-unaware-five-day-old-acorn-controversy-senate-vot  Maybe they have more important things on their minds, like how rude Kanye West was to take the microphone away from Taylor Swift at MTV's Video Music Awards.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/14/obama-kanye-is-a-jackass_n_286623.html

 

The Voice of Experience

 

He Started It

 

The Democrats are such hypocrites that sometimes I feel that all I do is write the same story over and over.  The typical story on this topic goes as follows:  Under President Bush the Democrats engage in behavior X.  Their liberal hack friends in the media praise behavior X.  Under King Hussein Obama the First, the Republicans engage in behavior X and the Democrats and their media stooges go crazy.  The latest example occurred when Republican Representative Joe Wilson from South Carolina shouted "You lie" as His Majesty was reading a speech off his Tele-Prompt-Ter in front of a joint session of Congress.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUC2rGj2VqE  In an earlier time, anyone who dared to so openly criticize the King would have lost his head but the Democrats were content with demanding that Wilson be censured and offer His Majesty an apology.

 

This interest in the decorum and civility in our legislature is a new one for the Democrats.  Many commentators have pointed out that Democrats heckled former President Bush during the 2005 State of the Union address.  http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/willheaven/100009397/congressman-joe-wilson-do-the-democrats-remember-how-they-booed-george-w-bush/  As you might suspect, at that time there were no calls in the mainstream media or from prominent Democrats for an apology.  After all, Bush was a liar and deserved to be booed.  Just ask Harry Reid.

 

Give the Republicans credit for being consistent.  The same Republicans who condemned the Democrats for their treatment of President Bush also demanded that Representative Wilson apologize, which he quickly did.  http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-joe-wilson-obama11-2009sep11,0,646206.story  And His Majesty graciously accepted Wilson's apology, reading the following off his Tele-Prompt-Ter:

 

I'm a big believer that we all make mistakes…I do think that, as I said last night, we have to get to the point where we can have a conversation about big, important issues that matter to the American people without vitriol, without name-calling, without the assumption of the worst of other people's motives

 

I guess His Majesty wasn't paying too much attention as he read his speech to the Congress because that's exactly what He did just before Wilson called him a liar.  Watch the You Tube clip again closely.  About 50 seconds into the clip His Majesty read the following:

 

Tonight I want to address some of the key controversies that are still out there.  Some of people's concerns have grown out of bogus claims spread by those only agenda is to kill reform at any cost.  The best example is the claim, made not just by radio and cable talk show hosts but by prominent politicians that we plan to set up panels of bureaucrats with the power to kill off senior citizens.  Now such a charge would be laughable if it weren't so cynical and irresponsible.  It is a lie, plain and simple.

 

My purpose today is not to argue the point that His Majesty's worthless plan contains death panels.  Instead I ask you, if it's wrong for Representative Wilson to call King Hussein Obama the First a liar then why is ok for His Majesty to call talk show hosts and prominent politicians liars?  And how can the King ascribe the worst motives to his critics and then turn around and say we shouldn't do that? 

 

And who are these prominent politicians?  His Majesty wasn't just referring to Sarah Palin, the author of a post that started the death panel controversy, when he said prominent politicians?  Maybe He was also referring to Senator Charles Grassley, who was pummeled by the liberals when he said people had a right to be concerned about such panels.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/12/grassley-endorses-death-p_n_257677.html  Why is it ok for His Majesty to call a Senator a liar but it's an outrage for a member of Congress to call him a liar?

 

Of course the liberal hacks in the media had nothing but silence on their Messiah's vicious comments.  Instead, in disgust, they noted that only four Republican Senators stood and applauded Obama's statement about the death panels.  http://thinkprogress.org/2009/09/10/four-gop-senators-applaud/

 

For those of you with long memories, which rules out the liberals reading this post, remember that during the late campaign His Majesty promised us a new golden age, a civil politics where we could disagree without being disagreeable.  Instead of working towards this goal, King Hussein Obama the First thunders from his bully pulpit that the time for debate is over and that his opponents are cynical liars.  In a party filled with hypocrites, His Majesty is number one. 

 

 

On the Lighter Side with Limis Ward

 

Generation O

 

On September 8^th, King Hussein Obama the First addressed the nation's school age children in an unprecedented internet broadcast.  Before we provide the text of His Majesty's remarks, please review the following memo provided by His Majesty's minions to the nation's teachers so they could put his words of wisdom in proper context.

 

Menu of Classroom Activities

President Obama's Address to Students Across America

(PreK-6)

 

September 8, 2009

 

Before the Speech

 

·         Teachers can build background knowledge about the President of the United States and his speech by reading books about presidents and Barack Obama.  Teachers could motivate students by asking the following questions:

                        Why do some people insist on criticizing the smartest man ever to serve as President?

Have you noticed that only a white, racist, hate-mongers are protesting against his policies?

                        Did you know that the Ku Klux Klan was founded by the Republican Party?

Did you know that the Jim Crow laws of the Old South were enacted by white Republicans?

                        Did you know that not one single Republican voted for the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

 

·         Teachers can ask students to imagine that they are delivering a speech to all of the students in the United States.

                        What is it like to be the most powerful man in the world?

Do you realize the President can crush you like a grape, dispose of your remains, and wipe out any evidence that you ever existed?

Can you read a speech as it's flying by on a Tele-Prompt-Ter?

 

·         Why is it important that we listen to the President and other elected Democrats, like the mayor, senators, members of congress, or the governor?  Do you understand that these people are solely concerned with your welfare?  Do you find yourself growing angry when you listen to prominent Republicans?  If not, why?

 

During the Speech

 

• All students must stand at attention during the length of the President's remarks.  Upon rising, each student must form a clenched fist with their left hand and in one quick motion, pound their fist off their chest, and extended they arm so that the fist is slightly above the level of their head.  Once their arm is fully extended the students should extend their thumb and pinkie fully, forming the shaka, aka the "hang loose" sign, a common sign of friendship in the President's state of birth which incidentally is not Kenya as the right-wing lunatics would have you believe.

 

• Pursuant to Executive Order 18957956 signed by the President last week, all state and local laws concerning corporal punishment are suspended during the President's address.  Students who talk, facially express disapproval, or otherwise disrupt the other students are to be beaten, whipped, and subdued by any means necessary to ensure that the students can focus solely on the President.

 

• Students and teachers should not take notes during the President's speech.  Instead, immediately following the speech, an outline of the President's speech will be available on the internet site.  This outline, not you own personal perception of the President's speech, will be the basis of your understanding of the President's speech during the discussion period following the President's speech.

 

After the Speech

 

• Teachers should praise the President's remarks and point out that the President is the only man who can improve their lot in life.

 

• Re-emphasize that the President is the most powerful man on Earth.  Point out that the President's love for the students exceeds that of their parents.  Remind the students that the President is slow to anger and quick to forgive.

 

• Drill the students repeatedly until they can recite the following without error:

            President Obama loves me and represents my best hope for a happy life.

I am unworthy of President Obama's munificence and recognize that his interest in my welfare is undeserved.

            President Obama is the smartest man in the country and those who oppose him are fools.

President Obama will provide for my basic needs as long as I am prepared to sacrifice my selfish desires for the greater good.

 

Extension of the Speech

 

• Review the failed policies of the Bush administration.  Make sure the students understand that only a man as brilliant as President Obama could ever hope to pull this country back from the precipice that Bush abandoned us on.

 

• Encourage the students to volunteer to make a difference in the community.  All faith-based groups should be discouraged.  Contract you union representative for a list of worthwhile groups, such as Code Pink, Organizing for America, Act Now for Healthcare, etc.

 

• Write letters to the racists, the hate-mongers, the fear-mongers in the Congress, the Fox News network, and talk radio.  Ask them why they are so mean.  Tell them President Obama will even forgive them for all the lies and damage they have done if they would only get on board with his message of hope and change.

 

• Have the students build a piñata of an angry white male.  Tell the students that angry white males have totally screwed up the world and we can only be saved through diversity.  Hang the piñata and let the students pound on it until it breaks.  As the students joyously gather up the candy, hang up a previous prepared (solely by the teacher) piñata of George Washington.  Point out to the students that Washington was not the great man history portrays but simply a racist slave owner who only cared about his own wealth.  Once this icon is destroyed by the students pull out another previously prepared piñata of an American soldier.  Let the students know of all the crimes committed by these supposed heroes.  Instruct the students to shout "Peace!" each time they hit the solider.  Once the solider is destroyed surprise the students with one last piñata of George W. Bush.  Make sure the piñata has a sinister looking face.  Devil horns and Hitler-style mustaches are permitted variations.  Re-enforce this piñata so it is difficult to break.  In this manner most of the students should have to chance to beat on the most evil man to ever steal the Presidency.

 

So now that we've been properly indoctrinated, um, prepared I mean, here are His Majesty's remarks:

 

Good evening.  Thank you for taking time out of your busy school day. 

 

A few short years ago I sat in a classroom much like yours.  To be honest though, my classroom was probably much nicer than yours since I attended an exclusive prep school in Honolulu but my point is that I understand what you're feeling during these formative years.  You're worried about your future.  You're worried about what you're going to do in life, how you're going to live, what kind of job you're going to get when you grow up.  I'm here today to assure you that under my leadership you'll never have to worry about these types of things again.

 

If you study hard, get a good job, and have the ability to take care of yourself, that's great.  But if you can't or won't do that my comprehensive program of government subsidies, transfer payments, and free services will ensure that your basic needs are taken care of.  When I see rich Americans callously rent a commercial airliner and jet off to exotic locations like my home state of Hawaii or blow tens of thousands of dollars to rent a beach house in places like Martha's Vineyard I get really mad.  Why can't you, the average American, do these things too?  Under my programs you can. 

 

In your history classes you've probably studied the lives of some of these rich Americans from the past like Carnegie, Rockefeller, and Morgan.  And your over-worked and under paid teacher might not have had the time to tell you how these men made their money in the first place.  I'm here to tell you today that these men, like the rich, white Americans of today, made their money by stealing it from the average man.  That's you and me.  If you think about it, when I tax these rich people and take their money away, all I'm really doing is taking the money they stole from you and giving it back to its rightful owner.  Hopefully someday there will be no such thing as rich and poor and all of my programs are designed to move us ever closer to that goal.

 

Of course along with their wealth comes power.  The power to stop people such as myself from doing what's right and thereby save their illicit wealth.  And some people, maybe even your parents, dazzled by their riches, unintentionally do their bidding by opposing my programs.  I can understand why they do this and I forgive them for they know not what they do.  These rich white men, such as the executives and stockholders in the health insurance industry, use their wealth to buy the support of the average man and make it appear as if the public doesn't approve of my plan.  I tell you now that these men are liars, deceivers of the average man.  They would slit your throat if they thought it would help them maintain their riches. 

 

To beat these people I need your help.  I need an army of young minds, properly educated in our schools to know what is right and what is wrong.  I need a new generation, bold enough to cast off the shackles of the white elite and stand for a new way, a path of hope and change for all Americans, not just those born into privilege. 

 

So how can you help?  First you can contribute by simply helping us to indentify the enemy.  If you hear someone denouncing me or my programs let us know, even if it's your parents.  Just send us an email and we'll take care of the rest.  With the vast power of the government and our extensive network of organized Americans there's nobody that we can't re-educate as long as we know who they are.  Second, you can help by being a good soldier, by joining us, through one of the many groups of organized supporters of what is good and right such as Organizing for America.  You won't even have to think about what to do.  They will tell what to do and you can rest assured that it is right.  Third, you can take a more active role.  Write a letter to your Congressmen.  Tell him you believe in me and my programs.  Boycott business that you know our owned by my enemies.  Call the right-wing talk show hosts, the hate-mongers.  Tell that stupid fat idiot Rush Limbaugh to get off my back.

 

It's ok if you laughed at that.  It's ok to call Rush Limbaugh fat.  It's ok to laugh at and call anybody fat.  Look at all the harm these fat people are doing.  Because of their lack of willpower, because they have the strength to hoist a chicken leg but not to push themselves away from the table, you and me pays billions of dollars for healthcare costs from obesity related diseases.  By identifying and ridiculing these fat slobs, we can change their behavior which is hurting the group.  And if you don't take anything else out of my address today, I want you to understand that the group is more important than the individual.

 

Our nation's motto is "E pluribus unum" which means "Out of many one."  And what's important to understand is that it's the one that is important not the individuals that make up the many.  Someday I or one of my like minded successors may call on you to make a sacrifice for the good of all.  Someday you might have to say good-bye to a loved one, your grandfather, your parents, or maybe even a brother or sister because the effort to save them would hurt the rest of the group.  Do not worry about ever making such a difficult decision.  That's what I'm here for.  Based on a life of experience and training for just these types of decisions you can rest assured that my decision is correct.  If you're ever called to make such a sacrifice don't feel bad.  Instead think of yourself as a hero, a different type of hero, a hero for this modern age.  A hero who doesn't think selfishly but instead thinks of the good of all.

 

Before I go I like to caution you against believing the arguments of the deceivers.  They say if my programs are so good then why don't I utilize them.  For example, why isn't the President enrolled in the new public option for healthcare?  A moment's thought will show you how ridiculous this argument is.  If I was willing to sacrifice myself, who would oversee this complex operation?  Who among you is capable of such a grave assignment?  Every day of my life is a sacrifice.  I work tirelessly on your behalf to ensure your well-being and happiness.  Without me, you would be nothing.  So naturally I must be saved.  The good of the group requires it.

 

Thank you again for allowing me to address you this evening.  And in conclusion I'd like to say…goddamn it, somebody pick up that Tele-Prompt-Ter.  I don't remember how it ends.  Aw hell, cut the feed.  Cut the feed!!!

The Righteous Lib

 

Enough Already!!

 

You have to give the racist, hate-monger Republicans an A for effort for digging up this pathetic loser Cindy Sheehan to protest against my man Barack while he's on vacation.  http://www.capecodonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090825/NEWS/908250319  Any decent person would show a little respect and give someone like Barack, who's been working so hard on their behalf, a break while he tries to relax on his vacation but I guess common courtesy is too much to ask of this Republican stooge.  When I see the flat-earthers dig up such a warped person as this from the country's sewers I shudder to think of how many similarly deranged individuals they can draw upon when needed to thwart my man Barack's plans.

 

Who does this Cindy Sheehan think she is anyway?  So her son was killed in Iraq.  Boo, hoo, hoo.  A lot of families lost sons in Iraq but I don't think Barack had anything to do with that.  You might remember we used to have a stammering, country-bumpkin as commander-in-chief named Dubya.  Did all you fear-mongers forget about him?  And why is it Barack's fault that her son was too stupid to get a real job and had to join the military?  From what I hear, this loser's son not only joined the military once but signed up for another tour while he was fighting in Iraq.  How stupid is that?

 

What really burns me is that all the networks can't get enough of this woman.  I'm so sick of turning on the tube down at the shelter and seeing her face.  The coverage of this woman and her deluded followers never ends.  Props to ABC's Charles Gibson though.  Out of the whole lot of them, only he has the guts to say "Enough already: and tell her to knock it off.   http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2009/08/20/abcs-gibson-cindy-sheehans-war-protest-enough-already  We need more objective journalists like this guy.

 

Apparently this lunatic is mad about Barack's commitment to kick ass in Afghanistan.  Why does Barack want to do this?  How is the hell should I know?  All I know is that Barack says this is what we have to do so that's good enough for me.  Why should I waste my time thinking about this kind of stuff when the smartest man in America is already on top of issue?  If you racist Republicans out there could stop yelling and put down your hate-filled posters for a few minutes you might just realize that a guy as smart as Barack is always right and get on board his movement for hope and change.  I'm sure though there's as much chance of that happening as hell freezing over which we all know is impossible due to global warming.

On the Lighter Side with Limis Ward

 

My Summer Vacation

 

I spent my summer vacation on Martha's Vineyard, which is a small island off Cape Cod, Massachusetts.  To be honest, I didn't want to go on vacation because we've been traveling all over the world with my Daddy this year.  I would have rather spent the week at home with my new dog.  Mommy hates my dog and wouldn't even let me bring the dog on vacation.  Mommy says she'd pull a Vince Foster on the dog if she thought she could get away with it.  I don't know who Vince Foster is and I don't think I want to find out. 

 

Here's a daily diary of my vacation:

 

Sunday

 

We flew into Otis Air Force Base on my Daddy's big jet.  The guys there were really great.  I exchanged a lot of statues and high-fives with the soldiers.  Everything was going great until they told us we were going to fly on a helicopter to Martha's Vineyard.  Daddy hates to fly on helicopters and he got really nervous.  He told the pilot to wait so he could smoke three cigarettes to calm his nerves.  Boy did Mommy get mad.. 

 

On the flight Daddy was whining like he always does.  Mommy finally had enough.  She hauled off and punched Daddy right in the gut.  Mommy has been eating a lot lately and is getting really big.  I'm sure that punch really hurt.  Daddy doubled over in pain and stayed doubled over for the rest of the flight, softy whimpering.

 

Monday

 

I had a good time playing on the beach and then in the pool with my big sister and my two baby cousins.  This place is ok but it's nothing compared to Hawaii which is where my Daddy is from.  I would have rather went back to Hawaii but Mommy said we couldn't go there.  She said if we keep going back to Hawaii it will make us look like rich snobs.  I heard Daddy is paying over $35,000 for this place so I don't know what she's talking about.  My sister said I better keep studying because the way Mommy and Daddy are spending money we're going to be broke.  I've been studying real hard and I don't need anything from Mommy and Daddy anyway.  I can take care of myself.  After all, I am eight years old.

 

Tuesday

 

Rough day today.  We drove up to a little town on the northern part of the island called Oak Bluffs.  We walked around and saw these neat little houses that looked just like the houses in the game Candyland.  Then we went to some store about a black dog which was really cool.  Things started to go bad when we went to an old wooden carousel.  They told us it was the oldest carousel in the United States..  We were having a good time riding when Daddy tried to talk to the people gathered around the carousel..

 

Daddy never talks to people.  Instead he reads words off a big box that his employees carry around.  One of Daddy's employees tries to type in words for Daddy to say but it didn't work to good.  People got tired of waiting for Daddy to answer them and they ended up walking away.

 

I asked Mommy why Daddy always has to read something off a box instead of just talking to people..  Mommy said Daddy is too stupid to carry on a simple conservation.  I told Mommy that I didn't care that Daddy was a dummy.  He's still my Daddy..  I had to go to bed without any supper.

 

Wednesday

 

Some of Daddy's employees came to visit today.  You should have heard the screaming.  Daddy called one of his employees, Robert, a lot of bad names.  Robert is a fat, middle aged guy who says a lot of things on behalf of my Dad.  I don't think he does a very good job and neither does Daddy.  Robert yelled right back at my Dad saying that his job was impossible.  I can't wait for Daddy to fire him.

 

Then Daddy and Mr. E took a long walk together on the beach.  I don't trust Mr. E.  He scares me.  I heard he used to be in the Army overseas.  I bet he killed some people over there.  I don't know why Daddy likes him but I wish he'd just go away.

 

Thursday

 

Another tough day.  Daddy and Uncle were talking politics.  Daddy started complaining that he was tired of the Chinks pushing him around.  My Uncle, who is Chinese, got real mad.  He stormed out.  I'm going to miss my cousins.  They're really cute. 

 

Daddy had to work again so we didn't do too much.  I don't know why we even went on vacation if Daddy has to work all the time.  Mommy said that a lot of bad guys are attacking Daddy and he has to fight back.  I don't know why Mommy doesn't fight back for Daddy.  She's a lot tougher than Daddy.  She smacks Daddy around all the time.

 

Friday

 

Today was a lot of fun.  One of Daddy's friends, Mr. Woods, came to visit.  Mr. Woods is a really big guy and is very nice.  He has a lot of money.  He loves to golf and he brought us each a brand new set of golf clubs.  He spent a half hour teaching us to play golf.  I've never played golf before but with Mr. Wood's help I was doing pretty well..  So were my sister and Mommy.  I was able to hit the ball straight down the middle of the fairway about a hundred yards.  Mr. Woods called me "The Natural."

 

Poor Daddy.  No matter how much Mr. Woods tried to help him he just couldn't get it.  It was really embarrassing.  It didn't help that Daddy was smoking cigarettes after every shot.  Mr. Woods told Daddy that he'd never be any good at golf if he didn't quit smoking.  Daddy just laughed and blew smoke on him.

 

Saturday

 

We all woke up and nobody knew where Daddy was.  Mommy ordered the servants to make breakfast.  It was really good but Mommy didn't look to happy.  When Daddy finally came back, Mommy started yelling at him.  Turns out Daddy went to a nude beach down the road at Aquinnah.  Mommy asked where the beach was in Aquinnah.  Daddy said it was at Gay Head Cliffs.  Mommy went nuclear.  

 

Mommy's always ripping on Daddy because he's like a girl.  I'm a girl so I don't know why that's bad but Mommy thinks it is.  Mommy's so tough I don't know why Daddy has to be tough too. 

 

Daddy ran off to play golf again so we just hung out on the beach.  We're leaving tomorrow.  I can't wait to go home.

 

Sunday

 

Daddy was afraid to go on the helicopter again so we took a boat.  It was fun.  The sailors were really cool.  They made me an honorary ensign and I got to drive the boat.  Unfortunately the boat rocked back and forth a lot and Daddy got sick.  I don't think we'll be taking any boat rides again.

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The Righteous Lib

 

Do It for Ted!

 

All you racist, conservative, hate-mongers must be dancing today.  The people's President, Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy is dead.  For one day at least, you can stop screaming, put down your posters comparing my man Barack to Hitler, and turn your rage on an easier target:  a dead man. 

 

The flat-earther Republicans outrage against this man is pretty selective.  Their hero, Dubya, can stumble around drunk for half his adult life and all they will tell you is what a great Christian man he is.  Ted drives drunk once in lifetime spanning over seventy years and you'd think he'd killed someone by the way they're reacting today.  Unlike their spoiled brat, rich kid Dubya, who had everything handed to him on a silver platter, Ted had to claw his way to the top through hard work.  Ted won nine separate elections to the U.S. Senate fair and square.  Dubya never won an election in his life although he did steal a couple but I guess that's ok down at RNC headquarters.

 

Of all the disgusting things these Neanderthals are saying today the absolute lowest attack is the defacing of the moving cartoon by esteemed New York Times cartoonist, Jeff Danziger.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeff-danziger/kennedy-dead_b_269053.html  In this cartoon, Danziger paints a heart-rending picture of an aged Senator Kennedy standing on a pier being helped into a sailboat filled with his three dead brothers who all look young and healthy.  And lest we forget, Ted's brothers, Joe Jr., Jack, and Robert were all killed serving this country unlike Dubya who never served anything but a highball.  Unfortunately I've lost the link to this shocking mutilation of this soon to be classic cartoon but I saw on one of their hate filled websites that a conservative loser added a drawing to the cartoon of Mary Jo Kopechne in the water, flailing around, desperately trying to get into the boat, and another drawing of a nude Marilyn Monroe lying on the deck with a beer in her hand.

 

What these racist losers will never understand is that Ted is being mourned by the whole nation because he stood for the little man.  Ted did more for the little guy in one day than Dubya and all his clown supporters have done in their collective lifetimes.  Look at all the welfare programs Ted has championed:  Medicare, Medicaid, Food Stamps, TANIF, and Supplemental Social Security.  Without these programs, my lifestyle might not be possible.  Because of Ted, I don't have to work.  My basic needs are taken care of and I'm free to hang out on the beach.  And I'm not the only beneficiary of these great programs.  What about all the people benefiting from these programs in our inner cities?  Take a walk through the South Side of Chicago, Camden, New Jersey, or Compton, California.  This is Ted's legacy.

 

God called Ted home before he could realize his greatest achievement, providing free health care for all.  Fortunately for Ted, and God for that matter, my man Barack is on the job.  I don't care how loud you racist, hate-mongers yell, Barack will beat you in the end.  And now we have a rallying cry worthy of our cause:  Let's pass responsible healthcare reform, including a public option to keep the private insurance companies honest, now for our fallen hero, Ted! 

The Voice of Experience

 

Partnership Dissolved

 

Once again the smartest man ever to serve as President, King Hussein Obama the First, has got himself into trouble with his big mouth; this time with his remark that "We are God's partners in matters of life and death" during a conference call on August 19^th with a group of rabbis.  http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0809/We_are_Gods_partners_in_matters_of_life_and_death.html?showall  Of course you'd think a man who's been derided so often by his critics as the "Messiah" might hesitate to declare himself the equal of God but apparently common sense is far too pedestrian a quality for someone as brilliant as our reigning King.

 

Now usually when I hear about a controversial quote like this I try to go back to the original source and try to put the quote into context.  After all, how many times have the liberal hacks in the media tried to make conservatives look bad by twisting our words?  But as I searched for a transcript or a recording of the call I found out that His Majesty's words were supposed to be off the record.  http://jta.org/news/article/2009/08/20/1007369/obama-appeals-to-rabbis-to-help-pass-health-care-reform  The rabbi in attendance, Jack Moline, who originally released the quote in a twitter feed (to Sarah Palin!!) later deleted his comments "saying that it was a huge mistake".  And Rabbi Josh Yuter, who has released the most complete account of the call to date http://joshyuter.com/archives/2009/08/rabbi_obama_health_care_conference_call.php , wondered if he should even be writing about the call at all.  As a Jew myself, I can only congratulate these rabbis on their highly developed sense of guilt.  Somewhere two Jewish mothers must be very proud.

 

And not betray my own sensitivities but I wonder why the call to a bunch of rabbis had to be so hush-hush when later that day His Majesty had no problems with being recorded when he addressed a much larger interfaith group of clergy in a conference call sponsored by a Christian-oriented group, Faith in Public Life.  http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2009/08/obama_health_care_pitch_to_rab.html  You can listen to the King in his own words at that group's website or at www.blogtalkradio.com/40mins4health  Why whisper to the Jews off in the corner and then shout to the Christians in the main room? 

 

Since this post is taking on a religious tone, I can only say heaven forbid you should listen to the entire 40 minutes of Faith in Public Life's conference call like I did.  God forbid you should know such things.  However if you want a good laugh, skip ahead to the 30 minute, 15 second mark which is approximately when the King is introduced.  Ordinarily when somebody introduces the President of the United States, even when the President is a screw up like Obama, the speaker rabbles on and on in an effusion of praise, which I'm sure the President's Tele-Prompt-Ter thought would happen.  Instead, in this case, the liberal clergy picked a 15 year old girl to introduce His Majesty and she simply said:

 

            I'd like you all to join me in welcoming our President, Barack Obama

 

It's funny to listen to the King stumble through the following as he realizes how inappropriate his remarks are after that lame introduction:

 

            Thank you so much, Carla, for the wonderful introduction.

 

You'd think the most brilliant man ever to serve as president could have ad-libbed something like, "Thanks Carla and it's so wonderful to see someone so young taking an active interest in a national affairs."  Instead the dummy inadvertently called attention to how inappropriate her lame introduction was.

 

So for those of you who are still with me in this ever lengthening post, what led the King to declare we were God's partners?  According to witnesses, as reported in the Politico story listed above, Obama was referring to a Rosh Hashanah prayer that says at the start of each Jewish New Year it is decided "who shall live and who shall die."  For all of my non-Jewish readers, a more complete explanation is probably required.

 

The prayer being referred to is the "U'Netaneh Tokef Kedushat Hayom" which means "Let Us Tell How Utterly Holy This Day Is"  http://www.ou.org/chagim/roshhashannah/unetanehtext.htm  As someone who's sat through many a Rosh Hashanah morning service, I can tell you the recitation of this prayer is a very powerful and moving part of the service.  The King lifted his quote from the following:

 

On Rosh Hashanah will be inscribed and on Yom Kippur will be sealed how many will pass from the earth and how many will be created; who will live and who will die

 

Later on in the prayer, we note that God's decision can potentially be changed if we change our behavior:

 

But REPENTANCE, PRAYER and CHARITY

Remove the Evil of the Decree!

Hence, our current sage, Rabbi Obama, claims that we are a partner with God because we can potentially change His mind.

 

Now I don't claim to be a Talmudic scholar like Obama but I know a little bit about my own religion and I think Obama's statement stretches the metaphor of the prayer almost to the breaking point.  In the prayer, God is compared to a shepherd and mankind is compared to his flock..  And each "sheep" will pass "under His staff" and God will determine their fate.  But as noted above, if we change our ways, God will lift the decree.  But instead of being partners with God, we are supplicants.  God determines our fate and only by following his ways can we change this fate.  Consider this quote from the end of the prayer which highlights the difference between man and God:

A man's origin is from dust and his destiny is back to dust, at risk of his life he earns his bread; he is likened to a broken shard, withering grass, a fading flower, a passing shade, a dissipating cloud, a blowing wind, flying dust, and a fleeting dream.

But You are the King, the Living and Enduring G-d.

On a more general note, only a completely irreligious man would dare to say he was a partner with God.  His comments border on sacrilege.  Personally, I'd bet Obama, like most liberals, doesn't give a damn about religion, and is only turning to the clergy now because he's desperately trying to find a way to sell his healthcare plan.  Since the argument on the facts is turning against him, he's trying to turn the debate into a morale one.  And as disclosed in the following article from Commentary, this new strategy for pushing his healthcare fraud was the real reason for these conference calls.  http://www.commentarymagazine.com/blogs/index.php/richman/76502  

 

A rabbinic student who received the URJ (Union for Reform Judaism – VOE) invitation and participated in the call sent me an e-mail about it that read,

President Obama spoke for about 20 minutes, then got off the call and we listened to three other rabbis who had prepared discussions about "helpful" Torah and Talmud texts, and how to craft a "non-political" (that is, pro-Democratic Party but wouldn't be able to get into legal trouble) sermon. . . .

• Pres Obama urged us explicitly to discuss healthcare reform in our high holiday sermons. He said repeatedly, "I need your help in getting this information across." My personal feeling is that it is an abuse of the pulpit to propagate a specific political agenda in that venue. . .

Sounds like the young rabbinic student knows a little bit more about Constitutional Law then the former editor of the Harvard Law Review.  Maybe Obama was out smoking dope on the day they covered the First Amendment back in law school so perhaps I shouldn't be so tough on him but you'd think some of his liberal friends might have mentioned at one of those parties he's always throwing at the White House how they'd like to see churches advocating conservative causes lose their tax-exempt status.

 

• In 2004, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State asked the IRS to revoke the tax-exempt status of the Roman Catholic diocese in Colorado Springs because its Bishop threatened to withhold Communion from those who disagreed with the church.  http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/news.aspx?id=13441

 

• In 2008, bloggers on the website Democratic Underground wondered if the Massachusetts Catholic Conference should lose their tax-exempt status because they urged parishioners to send letter to state legislators to express their disappointment with their vote not to ban gay marriage.  http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x1792107

 

• Gay activists have repeated called for the Mormon Church to lose their tax-exempt status because of their opposition of to gay marriage.  The earliest call for this action by the IRS I could find was in 1999.  http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/e/a/1999/07/07/NEWS11688.dtl&hw  The latest example was in 2008 on the website Daily Kos, complete with a link to the IRS forms needed to request administrative action against this church.  http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/11/7/85033/5853

 

In a way, it would be funny to see some congregation lose their tax-exempt status because their clergy stupidly followed the Kings' advice and openly advocated for his healthcare fraud.  I'm not into conspiracy theories but maybe the King is secretly hoping for such a result.  After all, the King is spending money at such a tremendous rate that he needs every dollar he can get, even if he has to rob it from the offering plate.